Thursday, May 7, 2009

DRUG

oh.my.god! it has been a long time i didn't update anything here! but i swear i have some articles are already drafts but just too lazy to put them here....well, i am so great here in Taiwan and going to China this saturday, so...

actually, i just found there is no place for me to write down my personal stuff, for example, on facebook and orkut, most of the friends are overlap; on msn or gtalk,  not to mention, i have no place to hide my personal mood at all. Suddenly, i thought that, yeah, i have my blog and it may help me! (i dont have too much audience here compared to the above tools...)

well, recently, i look like more a traditional girl, live a regular life with my family, climb mountain, do yoga, watch soap opera, sleep late and get up late. however, there is still one thing in my mind: i don't know how to change my life there. Or i should say, i wanna get rid of something/someone, but i don't know if i can do it or not.

Apparently, i am not a winner, but i don't want to be a loser. i told myself, i need to be responsible to what i did and to face all the result. i think i can do most of the part, but just don't know if i have the courage to the last part. honestly speaking, i am addict to...there is no right and wrong, i can understand every behavior among this, sometimes, i want to get out of it, but it seems like u take the drug, u will never say no.

Too many times, i really try to give up, i dont think i can unless i find another drug to complete my life. The feeling: excited, happy, right, dark, moving, but when u see the first sunshine, u will know, everything is fake. But when the next time coming, u won't say no.  I wanna cry when i am alone, but i cannot show that. 

be strong and trust only urself.
nothing is pure and honesty is not exist.