it's just a story

Actually I am selfish, really!

Just because of fun, because I didnt have for a long time, so, I did it.

Maybe it's not something about moral but everything just cannot go back.

He is a friend, the friend u met not so often, usually say something stupid when u meet.

but it still happened,

When I tried to say goodbye and left the party, he was there with another friend,

during the conversation, suddenly he put his finger on my neck start to flirt.

Of course I knew the meaning and just pretended and told myself, Im going home so soon, so, nothing is going to happen, let him do it, it's fine...

Probably his friend noticed and left, he asked me if he can kiss me.

At first, I told him, we cannot coz we r friends, but he said he wanna kiss me from long time ago

It's been a long time I didnt do anything, I hesitated, also tried to escape from the memory of another HIM.

so, I said, ppl r around here, Im kind of embarassed

then he took me to the back of the house

and we started...

When everything finished or actually during the period, I didnt feel excited, moreover, i compared him with HIM. Maybe after few minutes, I can get used to him, i told myself. Unfortunately, even till the end, or I almost tried to give up in the middle. Even he was much tender than HIM, treated me better than HIM, but I just couldnt stop thinking about HIM.

I talked about this situation to Ro on the next day, she said it's normal to compare, but stop trying those stupid things again, it's not even fair to myself. It's true, how should I behave next time when I saw the friend? (In fact, we met unexpectedly after one day and I was stunned and tried to run away...)

Well, just stop such stupid behaviors, and move ur life!! It's a life, not a game! U will never be able to reset!

*If u know who is him or HIM, please dont ask me if that is the rite answer, por favor!